Season of Sabbatical.
10.12.2015 — sabbatical
You have forgotten what it is to smile
In your too busy life come, rest awhile.
-Lucy Maud Montgomery
Less than two weeks ago, my husband looked over at me, as I furiously typed up a business proposal between writing emails with some of our creative partners about editorial work, and he said, “Your last wedding is in 2 weeks. And you cannot just go to work for me. This is a whole year off. A whole year. Do you have a plan, so you don’t waste it doing things you didn’t mean to do?”
It’s Monday, Columbus day to be exact. My youngest boo is at school, and my oldest is enjoying an afternoon respite and the 4 characters of Ninjago we picked up at Barnes and Noble. The sun is bright and bold in the sky and the surrounding blue feels wide-open, cool and welcoming.
Today begins the first day of this season of Sabbatical.
I bought a record player today, and Alabama Shakes is crooning through the speakers, “Give me all your love!” forceful and somber and challenging.
Like I said, I knew it was coming. I’ve known since July, and even still, it feels strange to be shedding the skin of my 20’s, of this identity, still unsure of what it is and was and looking toward this next stage of life.
I am a wife. A mother. And I have been a hair & make-up artist (among many other things) for the last 10 years, and as of this last Saturday, I will not be doing hair and make-up for work for the foreseeable future.
It’s an interesting place to be, and as I’ve told people what I am doing, I’ve been met with a mix of “Oh that’s great! You won’t regret it! Your kids are only small for so long” and “Ha! We’ll see how long that lasts!” and “Well, what do you think you’ll do afterwards?” Eric’s business is growing so tremendously. My kids are older, and they have weekend commitments. I missed so many birthday parties last year because I was working. But, even more than that, I have felt this strange call toward lessness (not a word). But essentially the practice of less. My entire mind bucks the idea. Even as I say it, there’s a rebel flag waving. But it’s not a law. I don’t have to stop. I just want to.
I don’t want to be extreme. I will still do hair (I have a lot of it, myself!) and make-up (I can’t wait to try out this new teal from RMS), but for the next year, at the very least, I will not be doing weddings.
So what will I be doing? Rest.
I don’t know what that looks like, to be honest. But I have some goals, and here they are (in no particular order of importance):
1. Explore the practice of marriage in our 7th year.
2. Look at my spouse as a different person (than he was when we got married and give him permission to change).
3. Discover more about my children as people.
4. Look at myself as a different person (than I was when we got married and give myself permission to change).
5. Write more music, poetry, stuff. + Red more poetry & books, listen to more music.
6. Hang out with more people of all ages and in any space.
7. Go to more live music.
8. Embrace the body I have (post-pregnancy outtie belly-button, smile lines and all).
9. De-addict myself to the vicarious living syndrome (hereafter referred to as VLS) – or binge-watching netflix, as it’s commonly and fondly known.
10. Drink tea in the evening, instead of booze.
11. Mediate and pray in the morning. (ideally the evening too, but let’s start small, ok?!)
Ok that’s 11 goals. There are more, and some of them I’ve already started.
I wish there was greater insight, but does anyone else feel like this sometimes? Are there any things that you do for rest?